


The Rewards of Being an Irresponsible Axolotl Owner

by orphan_account



Series: HSWC 2014 BR Fills [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cat Barf makes an extended appearance, Equius the vet, Eridan oozing all over anyone who was ever hot, Feferi the axolotl, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 00:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1798564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your pet is sick and the vet's office smells like puke, but the vet is smokin', so there's that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rewards of Being an Irresponsible Axolotl Owner

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:
> 
> Equius♥Eridan
> 
> AU where Eridan takes his pet to the vets and falls head over heels for the kind, caring and smoking hot vet.
> 
> (Bonus points for Nepeta being an assistant!)  
> I would give my lifeblood if Eridan had an axolotl or croc

The lady with the barfing cat is glaring at you, and frankly you’re insulted to be glared at by such a person. She smells like cat barf, and you’ll be damned if she doesn’t have some on her shoe. Were you in a better mood, you might be willing to forgive this since the cat is pretty much spewing all over the carrier, but your axolotl could be dying and right now that’s all that matters to you.

You suppose you feel a little bad for the cat.

But not the lady. She’s got a scowly, jowly face and you bet she would run over your designer shoes with her tacky little scooter given the opportunity.

“Mr. Ampora? The vet will see you now.” It’s the cute assistant girl with the green scrubs. Well, you say ‘green.’ They’re kind of pukey (although a different pukey than Mr. Whiskers over there). But she’s pretty cute, or she would be if you were even remotely interested in girls.

She leads you back into an examination room and tells you the vet will be in in a minute. You set Feferi’s container down on the cold metal table and peer into it. “Hey girl, don’t worry, we’re gonna get you fixed right up.”

You watch your beloved pet worriedly for a few stressful minutes until the door opens and _hello_ that is something you’re interested in. The vet, who introduces himself as Dr. Zahhak, is not only tall, dark, and handsome, but he is also ripped. Goddamn. You’re a little distracted so you don’t answer right away when he asks you what’s wrong with Feferi.

“Sir? What is the problem with your pet?”

“Oh, um, sorry. She’s not eating and she’s got these funny-looking cloudy spots on her. I’m really worried. Please help her, Doc.”

Dr. Zahhak steps up to the table and carefully removes the lid from the container. And then he sticks his finger in the water. Uh, okay? “Is this the temperature of water you’re keeping her in?”

“Yes?” you answer, suddenly feeling embarrassed and not sure why.

“Axolotl’s prefer temperatures between 60 and 64 degrees. Did you research axolotl care before you adopted her?” He sounds a little angry and yeah okay you’re embarrassed. The hot doctor thinks you’re an irresponsible pet owner.

“She was a gift, and the guy who gave her to me didn’t exactly explain the finer points. I thought they were just like fish. I know a lot about fish.”

He makes a small noise in his throat that makes you think he’s not satisfied with your explanation, but moves on from it anyway. “Nepeta will give you some information on proper care at the front desk. There are some things they have in common like the need for a filter and certain diets, but they are not the same. Do you understand?”

The way he talks is commanding and authoritative, while still maintaining an underlying compassion for animals. This dude is dreamy. “Yeah,” you practically sigh.

“Then I will be on my way. I have other patients to attend to.”

You start as he turns to leave. “Wait, Doc, one more thing.”

He pauses.

You do your best to look suave. “I don’t usually do this—” A little white lie. “—Can I get your number?”

You think he’s gritting his teeth, and he starts to sweat and stammer. Oops, you made him lose his composure. It’s something you’re used to. But at least he’s a nice, professional guy and didn’t get mad at you. You’ve had that happen before too.

Slightly disappointed, you hold up your hand. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you. I’ll just go.”

You push past him, allowing yourself to live in the glory of having brushed against his magnificent muscles, and find the girl in the green scrubs to get your info; you think she was Nepeta. She gives you a few print outs and some verbal instructions on how to cool off your tank, which you pay close attention to, and then you go.

As you’re reaching your car, though, she runs after you. “Sir! The doctor wanted me to give you this.” She holds something out to you. It’s a small piece of paper.

You open it. Inside are 10 numbers, scrawled in a shaky but elegant script. You smile. “Thanks.”

You decide to be responsible and wait until after you’ve taken care of Feferi to text him.


End file.
